People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He did a backflip because drugs
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
