he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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