my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
high people should be assigned attendants
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
