you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
