he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
