yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
