Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's always time for handjobs
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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