Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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