then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
