Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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