Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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