i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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