Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
