I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.