had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
