Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
