I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
