Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
