Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
