kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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