So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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