This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize