Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Some milfs here doing some blow
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.