this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
