I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk