Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
