i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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