Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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