he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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