no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
