I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
