Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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