do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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