I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
