I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
