So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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