Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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