Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
