Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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