I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
