another moral hangover. fuck.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
