i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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