toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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