I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
