Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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