i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
