either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
