How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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