I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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