dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.