Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.