we're blogging at a bar
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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