I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Screwed.edu
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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