Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
