I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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