she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
