Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
