There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
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She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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