whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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