All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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