i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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